drug testing...

many of you know that i am in the final steps of getting approved for a state job. i have a provisional offer of employment, that is contingent upon me passing a background check and a drug test. i am not going to post the details here, but it's a job i am very excited about. email me if you want info. the background check is in the works, and yesterday i went in for my drug screening.

i had to go to this swanky health place and give a urine sample. while i was happy to learn that the did not have to actually watch me pee, i was a little surprised to find that the whole thing was timed. it's like taking the urine SAT's. "okay, aaaaaaaaand TIME. pencils down pass your exam books to the front". once they peel off the seal on the specimen cup, you have four minutes.

four minutes.

while this seems like an exorbitantly long time to pee, it goes by quickly. my bladder does not respond well to pressure, and knowing the clock is ticking just makes it clench up and mutiny against the plastic cup. meanwhile i know the nurse outside the door is anxious to finish this, so that he can get to the red sox game. more pressure.

it was a long four minutes, but i eventually won out over my stubborn bladder and completed the drug test. the results take 48 hours, and then the first hurdle will be over.

for the second hurdle, i am going in for a background interview, and to get fingerprinted, at 6:30 monday morning. that's a little early in the morning to be charming. i think i will just have to settle for "awake enough to drive there and not drool".