my parents have been visiting

and mom informs me that none other than marilyn manson has moved into our neighborhood in los angeles. he bought a house on top of a hill that nobody has seen in years - it's an isolated house in a very populous suburby-area.

i should note that my mom was practically beaming when she told me this. she is so freaking excited - you'd think that having hulk hogan in the neighborhood would be enough, but i guess marilyn has one-upped him. perhaps it's because hulk lives in the super-uber-ritzy winnetka estates, and marilyn lives in a non-gated area like the rest of us.
here is the conversation we had about it - i am completely entertained.

mom: what does he do again?

me: well, he's sort of into shock rock - he looks weird and sings about stuff most adults don't really care for.

mom: like what? is it about [lowers her voice so dad doesn't hear] having intercourse?

me: no, more like satan and rock and roll. he looks real weird, mom.

mom: like that terrible guy on the radio? shocking like that?

me: howard stern? [she nods] no, not a shock jock. more like shock rock. but it's not so shocking anymore. ed: at this point, we are having the dumbest conversation ever and i'm starting to get embarassed.

mom: i think that howard guy is disgusting. the way he talks about women, he's just obscene. how terrible.

me: yeah, he's a real piece of shit, huh mom?

you know i don't like it when you use that language. [disapproving look]

how freaking funny!! she's not really worried about satanic shock-rocker marilyn manson - banned from certain states and cities, feared by late 90's parents, blamed for school shootings - being in the 'hood, but would possibly physically harm howard stern. my mom drives me insane most of the time, but sometimes i find her hilarious and endearing. it should be noted that later in the conversation (yes, it continued), she asked if he was married or had kids. i don't know why, but i just loved that mom was asking about marilyn manson (who from first-hand accounts is just a normal dude) like he was just that: a new neighbor.

so: l'chaim to new neighbors! marilyn, if you ever need to borrow some sugar or someone to watch your pets while you're out of town, joanne is happy to help.

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