i finally continued to embellish my car this afternoon. photos to follow soon. my car doesn't look classy or artistic, just sorta fun. it looks like what a kid would do if given some rhinestones and some silicone. like a pretend crown, a really gaudy one. i'm struggling with this knowledge. i want it to look classically beautiful, but it doesn't and it never will. i'm never going to make something perfect or perfectly beautiful. but for maybe the first time in my life since being a self-concious adolescent/adult, i'm not letting that knowledge stop me from doing something that makes me happy. it's strange how something as simple as gluing rhinestones onto a car is making me confront one of my most deeply held fears.
i think my mom would be proud of me.