12.08.2005

christmas comes to the crime lab...

so i figured it was only a matter of time, and i was right. christmas has come to the crime lab. i was initially fooled into believing they actually meant to strive for religious inclusiveness by advertising their "holiday party" instead of a christmas party, and advocating a "yankee gift swap" over a secret santa.

but today the kids who work for me went up into the attic and brought down the christmas tree, now proudly displayed in the reception area. one of the guys referred to is as a "holiday tree", and i had to put my foot down on that misnomer. if it's a tree (or a reasonable facsimile brought to you by international plastics) and it's bedecked with ornaments and tinsel, and if it is nestling gaily wrapped gifts underneath it (or empty cheerio boxes wrapped to resemble something that might actually be fun), and if there is a benevolent angel on top (or another special item from international plastics, but this time looking slightly melted and a little moldy) -- then it's a god damn fucking christmas tree. and just call is such.

apparently the commonwealth of massachusetts is christian.

and i had that awkward moment that all non-believers face... do i say something?

frankly, i am tired of having the conversation of whether or not xmas has become a secular holiday. peoples opinions on the matter are as entrenched and deeply believed as religion itself. and i am tired of being the wet blanket who douses everybody's holiday cheer. the kids were having a great time setting up the tree, and it probably made their day. everybody walks by and comments on how festive the reception area looks.

so, no. i didn't say anything. but it had nothing to do with endorsing good will toward men or seasonal holiday cheer. the fact of the matter is that i am only four months into my six month probationary period. and if the commonwealth is dumb enough to put a tree in a government building, then they are dumb enough to give me a bag of hell for a christmas present if i complain.

but next year they had better watch out.

10 comments:

banky said...

Hey Bandit - Merry Christmas!!!

(Shouldn't your post have ended with ..."they're actually singing!"??)

kathryn said...

well, i think it sounds like a lovely holiday tree. or whatever they're calling it these days.

(i'm drunk)

kathryn said...

dude, can you believe that kid is 21?? god damn.

kathryn said...

hmmm. that was a joke about 'holiday trees' instead of 'christmas trees' that didn't quite come out right.

thanks, ketel one!

bandit said...

hey! i thought you said that Hershel was 22?

;)

kathryn said...

he's not 22 yet.
today is his birthday.

*shakes head*
his damn beard threw me off!!

(side note: men with beards, please get in touch! xoxo)

please dont tell me this said...

holiday trees and christmas trees. it doesnt make sense. its a christmas tree if its originated from christmas.. right?:S

Gouda said...

You were probably nursing off that Ketel One when you made that comment about beards, but how's mine?:

http://topekapeople.my-expressions.com/archives/2987_1922501022/110114

I know, I know...it's just a "beard with training wheels".....;-)

kathryn said...

god, nursing off is right. friday sucked. AND i had to go to the hospital for my ears. fuckers.

Pandora said...

It's a *solstice* tree, darnitall!

darn holiday stealers and their stealing of holidays!

(I'm drunk)