an open letter to Rebekah Gewirtz...

Dear Rebecca, It was so nice to meet you on my porch. Thank you for talking with me about the campaign. I appreciate your thoughtful consideration for the race and i hope that I can count on you to LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. Sincerely, -- kate

okay, here's my real open letter, actually sent to Ms. Gewirtz:

Dear Rebekah,

As a voting member of Ward Six in Somerville it has come to my attention that you are running for Alderman. It would be hard to miss. You have deluged my front porch with mail, and your partial smile glances up from me on the litter that surrounds my home, asking if you can count on my support. If for some reason I was visually impaired, it would still be apparent as your people call me daily, and sometimes twice daily, to ask if they can count on my support. My doorbell rings at all hours with your bright eyed helpers asking if you can count on my support.

Rebekah (and I feel like I know you well enough by now that we are old friends and I can call you by your first name), I got to tell you... Nope. You can't count on my support. In fact, with each incessant plea for my support, the chance that I would actually vote for you becomes more and more remote. With tonight's phone call, where your loyal telemarketer actually *cursed* at me, I have to say that it's just not going to happen. Now that we are square on that, please leave me alone. You are verging on harassment. I have asked your people not to come to my door, and the next time they will get bodily evicted. I have asked your telemarketers to put me on your do not call list (something which, by the way, they are required to do by law) and I get verbally attacked. I won't block your mail, so go ahead and feel free to kill dozens more trees. I won't read it, but it's a free country.

The saddest part of this is that I actually support some of your politics. I went to your website and I read your leaflets. But now I am just flat out pissed. So, perhaps a small lesson to you in campaigning: You want to push just enough to get your point across and be memorable, but not so much that the voters want to get a restraining order against you.

So, Rebekah, I hope that I can count on your support to respect my wishes and leave me in peace.


-- katherine


Pandora said...

Absolutely beautiful!!!

banky said...

Go on Kate, kick some of that whiny Somerville progressive ass! See if you can lay a beat-down on Bill Shelton while your at it, mmkay?

Damn, no one *ever* comes to my door. Ward 2 is the red-headed step-child of Somerville politics.

fuggy-nli said...

that is awesome!!

wonder_girl said...

Go get em' sparky!!!

Anonymous said...

Sorry, they can still call you even if you tell them to stop. From http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/pubs/alerts/dncalrt.htm

29. If I register my number on the National Do Not Call Registry, will it stop all telemarketing calls?

No. Placing your number on the National Do Not Call Registry will stop most telemarketing calls, but not all. Because of limitations in the jurisdiction of the FTC and FCC, calls from or on behalf of political organizations, charities, and telephone surveyors would still be permitted


bandit said...

heh, you may not know this but i used to work for a telemarketing firm. i know all these laws cold! and i know, for a fact, that if somebody from a political campaign calls you, and you reqest to be put on their *specific* Do Not Call list (which every telephone campaign has) they are required to honor it.

never mess with somebody who used to work in telemarketing!

CUSH said...

Man they don't bother me over here in Ward 5 either.