the holidays are fast approaching, and december is the most dread-filled month of the year for me. thanksgiving should be just fine: i'll make a nice dinner, we'll have people over for a post-t-day wind down at the casa, and everything will be low pressure super nice. i'll make an appropriate amount of food, the casa will smell good, i'll have fun entertaining...it'll be great. christina even got the night off work, so she'll be there for the whole thing!
then, there's christmas. i just got an email from dad, and the line "we'd like you to come home for a full five days" made my stomach drop. i love the idea of christmas, but i freaking hate it. and i feel this weird pressure to lose some weight before i go home, so that mom doesn't comment on it. i get to spend almost $500 to visit and get picked at, nagged, and bothered. for five whole days. my dad describes mom and i as being "on different sides of a brick wall, banging our heads". swell - i just can't wait to get home.
here's a little dialogue from last year. dad and i were sitting in the living room, quietly reading our respective books. then mom comes on the scene:
mom: are you cold? is it cold in here?
me: no, i'm fine.
now she looks at dad...
mom: honey, are you cold?
dad: no, i'm comfortable.
mom: are you sure?
dad and i: yes.
mom: kathryn, come over here and open the vent, i think you must be cold.
me: no, i'm not cold, i'm just fine.
mom: are you thirsty?
mom: how about some o.j.?
me: no, thank you, i'm not thirsty
mom: want something to eat? a sandwich? we have left-over ham!!
me: no, i'm not hungry, thanks.
mom: there's cookies!
me: mom, i'm not hungry.
mom reaches out and grabs my foot. please note: i hate people touching my feet. i retract my foot under a pillow to protect it.
mom: who did your pedicure? did you paint them yourself? etc. etc.
so this year: screw decking the halls. just keep my wine glass filled, thanks, and i'll try to avoid decking mom.